Pop songs = terrible poetry

Catchy? Yes. Well performed? Sometimes. Poetry? I don't think so.

For years now pop songs have been getting worse and worse when it comes to writing. They all talk about the same things (namely sex, cheating boyfriends, sex, and alcohol) and everything they have to say has been said at least a thousand times by previous generations. Obviously though, they don't really care about that; most pop stars don't even write their own music. And no one listens to them for the lyrics - that has been made clear by hordes of innocent young teens who roam around the mall singing their favorite songs, oblivious of their explicit content, to the chagrin of the occasional passerby with morals (not that there are many of those anymore). Clearly it's all about the tune and the beat.

But we must demand more in terms of artistry. I don't pretend to think we could sway the trend towards depravity in "art" and "music" with much ease because no one these days thinks the songs' topics are depraved; however, even the most base of pop aficionados can have his intellect insulted. And I truly believe that pop songs have reached a new low in lyrical quality that requires mass protest.

I listen to NPR in the morning on the way to work to stay up to date on the news, but I often flip all over the place during their brief commercials. Recently I happened upon Star 94, Atlanta's biggest pop station, during one of these surveys and was nearly instantly appalled by the song I heard. It was Beyoncé, and from my trips to various public places, I had heard the song before, but never really listened to its words. This time, though, I realized that in her "Irreplaceable" she ever so cleverly rhymes "minute" with "minute." Yes indeed. She could have chosen all sorts of things: skin it, in it, bend it. In fact, I would have even been satisfied with any phrase ending in "it." But no - she just took the same word and used it again. Atrocity!

But then it happened again, and this one takes the prize for complete lack of lyricism. Kid Rock, in some song about summer (and sex, and drugs, among others), rhymes "things" with "things." ..... ..... Unbelievable. "Things" hardly even counts as a word. I cannot think of any other utterance that I would consider less artistic. So not only did he rhyme a word with itself, he also chose the absolute refuse of language with which to commit his crime. How in-deliciously low.

You know, I realize I might be coming across a bit harsh here. It's true, I abhor this kind of mock artistry. This is one time I simply cannot apologize for my description. If there was any chance of mistake, of accident in these instances, I would recant. But there isn't! No one says you must rhyme. Songs without rhyme can be perfectly artistic and beautiful, and the two examples above would have been infinitely better if they had just avoided the rhymes altogether - these singers had to purposefully insert the paltry pairs. And that is why they cannot be forgiven.

My proposal is to banish said singers and others who emulate them to Antarctica - penguins are famously patient and have the best chance of putting up with the antics of these would-be artists. At least, I do hope, dear reader, that you will not withstand such pathetic poetry. It would be terrific if singers became less popular as they descend to baseness, but since that doesn't happen, the least we can do is protest when they insult our sense of art and beauty. So if you agree, post a comment on this article - it will be our de facto petition for Antarctic deportation.