To Be Thrown Out a Window

Of all the ridiculous things that have happened in history, the Second Defenestration of Prague is probably my favorite. The Czechs have a long legacy of throwing people out of windows (defenestrate: de - out of, fenestra - window), as they rightly should. I have heard rumors that defenestration was a semi-common form of punishment/rebellion in Europe, but that will require further investigation. It makes sense, though. I can just imagine the rich establishment, hanging out in their penthouses. What better way to make a point than to invade those upper reaches and toss out the denizens - a literal and figurative fall from power.

The first Prague window tossing goes all the way back to 1419. In this instance, a group of Hussites stormed the city hall over a dispute involving prisoners and chucked six or seven fellows out the window to their death below. This included some city council members and the burgomeister (aka, the mayor). Too bad. The Czech king at the time, Wenceslaus, supposedly died of the shocking news. And although you may be exclaiming at this very moment, "Ah yes! Good old King Wenceslaus! Poor chap!" don't get too excited. The king of Christmas fame lived quite awhile earlier - this one was known as "The Drunkard."

Then in 1483, the Praguians were at it again. Shockingly, it was another rebellion. This time, though, they killed most of the folks before flinging them out - a nice courtesy. Only one of them meritted live launching. For some reason, this defenestration is mostly forgotten and does not earn an official numbering. I sometimes feel bad for those rebels, going to all the trouble to cast people out a window and barely getting any credit. So although this was the second group of balcony ballast, the official Second defenestration came later.

For the next century and a quarter, there was a noticeable dearth of banister flipping. I imagine the Czechs were a bit put off by the lack of rebellion labeling. I mean really, what is the point of going to all that trouble if you aren't properly recognized? I would certainly be upset. But after a few generations, the offense was forgotten and the Praguians got back to it.

The year was 1618, Sir Walter Raleigh was busy with his hair gel, preparing to be beheaded, when the latest installment of Prague's greatest tradition went down. This time, it was much more serious, but nonetheless comic. Lending credence to the idea of being a common form of punishment, the victims were tried, and then calmly (well, maybe) found guilty and tossed. Luckily for them, a large pile of manure was waiting; justice was foiled by a heap of dung. Even though they didn't die, it still seems appropriate as a symbolic gesture. And it was of infinite importance, possibly inspiring one of the opening scenes of Aladdin, one of the most influential movies of the 20th century. As a side note, it also began the Thirty Years War (a few minor skirmishes between Catholics and Protestants, leading to the death of 15-20% of Germany - trifles really), whose most important historical consequence was the addition of Swedish king Gustavus Adolphus into western history textbooks. What a terrific name!

As you can see, defenestration is important. It starts wars, it's imaginative, and it makes a point. As a tribute to its historic glory, I have a plan to stage a dramatic reenactment during my European roamings with my wife. Prague is one of our must-see stops, and we will ensure a first floor hotel room; obviously, safety is a priority this time around. So basically, my wife is going to defenestrate me. It's simple and beautiful. We will be sure to record it, in video if possible but at least pictures, and post it for your enjoyment.

I hope you have enjoyed this brief look at one of the most important events in all of history. As a final note, the word defenestration was coined as a result of our Praguian friends' commitment to inventive punishment. So if you have any unique traditions (hopefully less harmful ones) that catch on, maybe you will have a Latin-based word coined on your behalf as well. Be sure to mention defenestration in your acceptance speech.