Righto - let's begin shall we:
I find it unfortunate that English has failed to keep the distinctions that are availed to speakers of many other languages in saying goodbye. Although we can say bye, goodbye, see you later, farewell, until we meet again, etc., and they do all have slightly different connotations, I believe the general public does not clearly distinguish between which phrases should be used when. For instance, in French, you simply do not say adieu unless you do not know when you will next see the person with whom you speak. You literally entrust the person "to God" because only he could know what happens next. In German, I believe you would use auf Wiedersehen for the long-term goodbye, meaning roughly "until we meet again" (lit. "until next seeing"). I particularly like this one because of how vague it is. Until we meet again...I will think of you every night? Or perhaps, until we meet again, I will eat three meals daily? And then what if your implied promise is broken? It adequately captures the uncertainty - who knows what I'll be doing, but I'll be doing it, and I hope I'll see you again sometime thereafter. I find it extremely appropriate.
But for English speakers, particularly in America, saying goodbye can be awkward and embarassing if not properly thought out. I don't mean this to be harsh, but it doesn't really work to say see you later when it is very likely that you won't ever see the person again. It implies a complete lack of concern and understanding of the fact that the person is really leaving. And therein lies the issue. Although farewell carries a bit more finality than the others, it would not be unusual to hear someone using any of the other forms in both short-term and long-term settings. I think it would be best if until we meet again and farewell were reserved for long-term goodbyes to preserve their emotional connotation. Frankly, it is nice to feel like someone really does want you to "fare well," not merely be seen later. Likewise, it would be terrific to hold out hope that you would "meet again" with someone you believed was hoping the same. But see you later is naive and unrealistic, as if the speaker is sure he will see you later and thus is not required to feel any emotion at your departure. Nothing has changed - you'll see each other in a week or two, maybe do lunch. Then when that lunch never occurs, the speaker pleads ignorance. His plea is correct.
I realize, though, that sometimes people can have completely proper motives and are just awkward. I know this because I am definitely one of those people. In important final moments, I lose my ability to reason and just blurt out what I'm used to saying, which is normally "see ya later." And after that, it's either deal with it, or try to correct the blunder and become even more awkward in the process. So generally I opt for the former. You see, my problem is that I have never really had to say goodbye like this before. It was traumatizing enough for me to move from private middle school into a public high school where few of my friends were continuing their education. But we all still lived in the same places. Then there was high school to college, which was not very difficult because I could come home whenever I wanted.
That leaves now, and this time it's for real. If I'm going to see anyone, it will require an eight hour flight and an hour in a train. And although I have tried to adequately say farewell to various people in the past month, I think a piece of music sums it up better than I was ever able to communicate with speech. Beethoven's Les Adieux
Sonata (No. 26) for piano opens with a movement called "Das Lebewohl," roughly translated to "the farewell," though Germans would say it means much more than that and cannot really be translated. I have only heard the entire sonata a handful of times, but I often play the first three chords because they express what I feel better than I am otherwise able. For those of you who play the piano, here is the beginning of the piece (sorry it's so small):
The first time I heard the piece I was truly struck by how well the opening chords perfectly sum up what it is to say goodbye, permanently. Although the progression is not unique, there is something painfully fitting about the transition from the simple major chords in the first measure, to the unfortunate, minor chord in the second. It feels like Beethoven is watching his lifelong love leaving in a carriage - I'm ok; I'm still ok; I'm definitely not ok. And in this case, the composer really spells it out for us: you will notice that above the first three chords he writes "Le-be-wohl," as if he specifically intended those three chords to signify everything that farewell connotes. Although Beethoven goes on to develop his notion of farewell throughout the piece, I feel sufficiently moved after the opening chords that I normally stop and soak it up. He must have had a very moving farewell at some point in his life - there is no other way he could so perfectly infuse three, elementary chords with such an effect.So some of you reading this may have received a farewell from me that was lacking in appropriateness, and I do hope you will overlook my awkwardness. I assure you that any "see you laters" and "ciaos" were entirely a result of my inexperience in such times. (I do hope to be better the next time I leave some place for a long period). So to all my friends and family, I will miss you much and think of you often. It is difficult to leave despite the excitement, and I know I will have some "I'm definitely not ok" moments before settling into my new life. But life goes on, and I know eventually we get passed those first three chords and into the rest of the music. And there sure is a lot of music after that introduction.
There will always be vacancies on our floor for your sleeping bags.
Farewell.
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