Oxonian Observations and Awkward Moments

For those of you who have not heard through the grapevine or the lentil tree, let me begin this long belated post by informing you all that my wife and I will be moving back to Georgia in January. Indeed and verily. I have learned much about myself coming to Oxford, and foremost among my learning is that I do not want to pursue economics professionally. So rather than staying the two years fully aware that I do not want to use this degree for the furtherance of my career (as I erstwhile presumed), we are coming home! I think a job would do me some good to really figure out what to spend the rest of my vocational life doing. Life is full of surprises indeed.

But rather than explain in full to those who already know or those who just don't care, that's all for now. If you want further explanation and storytelling, feel free to email me for the full story.

Having come here expecting two years of good English fun, it is a bit disappointing to leave, but we have had some absolutely lovely little happenings even in this short amount of time. Therein lies the topic of this post. This will be very random, very jumpy, and very JP, for sure. I hope this gives a more complete taste of Britain than did my previous post.

Oxford colleges - 38 bundles of joy with 6 stepsiblings
One of the most distinguishing aspects of Oxford is its colleges. There are 38 of them and an additional 6 private halls, separated because they are religious (which is rather ironic, since nearly all of the colleges were originally founded for the study of religion). But rather than try to describe them all, I like to cluster them into little subgroups based on common traits. There is a bit of overlap, but that's ok. Here is how I think of them:

1) The really old and/or beautiful colleges - this includes, among many others, Merton, Magdalen, Exeter, University, Balliol, and New (one of the oldest, actually). These are the colleges with the most character in my opinion. You should definitely visit them.
2) The uber-rich - a sampling of those with the biggest coffers includes St John's (over £300 million!), All Souls, Nuffield, Queen's, Brasenose, and several others. There's a lot of money floating around Oxford.
3) The Eton boys - let's face it, some colleges have reputations that precede them. I'd prefer not to say which ones though, for fear of my life. Although I must mention one: All Souls. My friend tried to visit there once. He poked his head in the main door and asked the porter if he could look around. The porter responded, "This is All Souls." If that's not snobby, I don't know what is.
4) Jesus and his buddies - as I said, religion was sort of a big deal for many colleges way back in the day: we have Jesus, Christ Church, Corpus Christi (that means body of Christ, if you didn't know), Trinity, St John's, St Catherine's, St Anne's, St Antony's (my college), St Cross, though I do find it funny that the cross is a saint, St Hugh's, St Peter's, and one or two of the private halls.

I assure you that all the colleges, upon their founding, were very concerned about which of these groups they would join.

There is a joke that I enjoy about Christ Church, though I think it could equally apply to other colleges:
How many Christ Church students does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2 - one to call the porter and the other to get suits made for the occasion.

Beware the fire alarm - a tale of dread and disaster
Once upon a time, my college anounced it would have a fire drill. They didn't say when, just which day it would occur. So one morning having just exited the shower, the alarm goes off. My wife was still in her pj's, and I was chillin' with my towel. Knowing it was a drill, neither of us was very keen to run outside half-dressed into the lovely nearly freezing drizzle of England. But while were trying to get quickly dressed, in comes one of the porters right into our flat (blasted master keys).
"YOU COULD BE DEAD!!! YOU COULD BE DEAD!!! YOU COULD BE DEAD!!!" is what greeted us. I kid you not, he shouted it with great perturbation on his face at least ten times, as if we didn't get the point. I really wanted to shout back, "GET OUT OF MY FLAT!!! GET OUT OF MY FLAT!!!" but decided against it. It was very troubling, though.

Now, for the most part, the porters are extremely friendly, happy people, and I like them a lot. But on that morning, this guy was a bit too worked up. I wanted to understand, but everyone knew it was a test, so no one was in a huge hurry to get out of the building, especially half-naked. If the fire alarm went off without warning (as it did for a different test), we would have been much quicker (and we were). Some may say that it's all for the sake of safety, but if that were the case, and they really wanted a quick response and lifelike trial, they wouldn't have had us gather right next to the building (many people were actually leaning against the building). All I have to say is "YOU COULD BE DEAD FROM THE BURNING BUILDING FALLING ON YOUR HEAD!!!" but they didn't seem to care about that possibility.
So beware fire drills.

Walking - the most dangerous thing I have done here (while on the topic of danger)
Using my legs, for a change, has been quite invigorating. I went from walking probably less than 400 yards a day in Georgia to 4 or 5 miles or more a day here in Oxford. It's really nice. That is, if no one is on the sidewalk. If there are two things that stand out about people's manners here, they are that 1) the homeless are extremely friendly and kind and 2) the walkers will run you over without even acknowledging that they have done so. I don't know if they are ridiculous tourists, students, natives, or some of each, but at least twice a week I am slammed into by an extremely rude person who then continues on without the slightest acknowledgement. One time I was honestly pushed into the front wall of store. And even the elderly do it! It's unbelievable. At first I thought I was just really bad at walking, even though I had never struggled with this before. But then it happened a few times when I truly could not have evaded my attacker, and then I knew it wasn't me. Truly bizarre I say.

Aside from those couple times a week, though, walking is fun, except when it's raining and you are carrying groceries. That's really rubbish.

Another thing about walking is that everyone walks with their heads down, staring at the ground (potentially linked to the first problem, though the people plowing through the sidewalks do so even while looking up). For awhile this perplexed me, and given how beautiful the city is, I found it all the more remarkable. I wondered about it one time to my wife, though, and she of course knew the answer. The answer is simple, actually: it's really cold. So everyone wants to cover as much of his face as possible in a warm scarf. Problem solved.

Tweed - the fabric of the ages
Tweed is amazing. I love it. All the professors wear them. Some are truly hideous, strange shades of green or orange. But others are just right, like the ones I got from some good friends just before coming here!

Well-learned coffee shops
The other day I was talking about Swedish with my friend, just your average, everyday conversation. Being a bit overconfident and completely unsure, I postulated that Swedish was, like Finnish, in a different family from the other Scandinavian languages. The fellow sitting just behind my friend then turned around and said, "Actually, you are completely wrong. You couldn't be further from the truth." Never get bold about things you don't know in the Blackwell's coffee shop.

He was wearing tweed, of course.

I actually later ran into the same fellow and found out he came there often to read the work of one of his PhD students. This man was a professor in Armenian Studies, specializing in literature (though he knew a fair bit of linguistics). And the work he was reading was by a 75 year old retired judge. That's awesome. We should all get PhDs in Armenian studies at 75.

Bookstores
One of my favorite things about Oxford is its numerous bookstores. Only here can you find entire bookshelves devoted to Beowulf. That makes me immensely happy.

About a week ago, I picked up a pristine copy of Longfellow's complete poetical works in a used book store. It was published in 1882, the year he died. It has a padded cover. It has inscriptions on the flyleaf that I can't read because they are so nicely written by folks long gone. And best of all, it was only £6. Amazing.

Other
Mincemeat is a sweet mixture of fruit.
There's an El Greco hanging in New College chapel, barely marked, as if it were nothing.

Organs
There are absolutely astounding organs in Oxford. Two of my favorites are in Jesus and Exeter colleges. I often stop by to see if anyone is practicing. It never hurts to have a good rumbling; it's sort of like having all the kinks in your bones popped all at once. Makes me feel like butter.

Well, that's about it.

Oh and some friends made us "toad in the hole" for dinner the other night. It was superb.